The Beginning of a Turn Around

It has been a long time, I don't even know where to start!! I was without a computer for most of the last month and a half which we have just gotten to, it was pretty far down our to do list. You would be amazed at the things that can pile up in a year! That said, I can't believe John is finally home for good!! It's been such a long and difficult year, and though we're still unsure about the job situation (he is currently working at Ft. Knox on a temporary basis) I can see the beginning of a turn around. TOMORROW morning I'll go in for my third (and likely final) c-section and we'll welcome a new baby to our family. The stance so many in our culture have taken to support abortion may seem to diminish it, but each new life is a miracle and we are thrilled to finally welcome this unexpected new addition to our family! I can say without hesitation that this has been my most difficult pregnancy by far! No doubt it had more to do with being over stressed and under rested with John away, loosing 3 loved ones in such a short time, and worry about my mom in the aftermath of those tragedies than anything that was a direct result of the pregnancy itself; but the almost constant contractions and other scares that the baby might come earlier than what was safe make me more thankful than you could ever know that I am still pregnant at 38 weeks (no matter how uncomfortable I am!). I have been so blessed by the women in my small group, friends, and family who have prayed for me and supported me than any of them will ever know. Beth Moore's Esther study couldn't have come at a more appropriate time in my life. I may not be able to feel God's presence all the time, but I KNOW He is there and doing amazing things. He worked no less powerfully in Esther's story where there is no mention of His name than in every other book that bears it. And more than that it renewed my love for deeply studying God's word and seeing how beautifully and purposefully he has been weaving his story together since the beginning. He has answered my prayers when I couldn't put together the words through exhaustion and tears and I know he is working on me :) One of the most prominent things I learned during this study is that the most frequent command (or one of the most?) in the Bible is some version of "Do not be afraid" and yet I have to admit I have some fears for how tomorrow will go and what it will be like to have a newborn, 3 year old and almost 2 year old at home, to not know what kind of job John will get, when, or where that may be...but what a blessing to be able to say that whatever happens it will be ok!!  I might even get some funny stories out of it and, better yet, maybe I can find 10 minutes to share them with you! :)