6 weeks and counting!

It seems like it should get easier each time John leaves after a visit home, but it doesn't. He's been gone for almost 11 months now and we've had a handful of visits, mostly over long weekends like this past one and it always seems like they're over before they've even begun. Just about the time the kids get adjusted to him being home, Gracie is laying in be with us on the morning he has to leave, just like she does every day he is home, asking him in her own sweet way not to go back. She only ever succeeds in keeping him here an extra hour or two. I can't help but wonder what Will thinks about all this. He was about 9 months old when John left and has mostly gotten to know him through a web cam, pictures, and these occasional trips home.  Amazingly, though, he is always just as excited to see him as Gracie and I and never has to take time to get reacquainted with him like I'm always afraid he will. It is an adjustment for both of them when he is here, though. Like most kids, the excitement, change of pace, and missing daily routine they've grown accustomed to is hard for them to comprehend and it comes out in their behavior, especially Gracie's. I can't help but be a little fearful of what it's going to be like around here 6 weeks from now when he comes home for good and we bring a new baby into the picture shortly thereafter. Not to mention the very likely possibility that we will have to move because whatever job John ends up with (sooner than later I hope!) may be somewhere outside of the city or state or won't pay enough for us to stay in this house. That's a lot for me, so I can't imagine how difficult it might be for 2 young kids who can't wrap their mind around all the huge changes that are about to take place. 

That said, I can't wait for him to come back, to stop feeling like a single parent, to stop having to try to explain to Gracie how long it will be before she sees him again, and to have a normal relationship with my husband. We've survived this long, the next six weeks should be a piece of cake. At least provided I don't have to make any more premature trips to the hospital! It serves me right I guess for trying to do more than I should have to ensure that John finished everything on his exhausting to do list and still had time to spend with the kids. But it all got done and they definitely got some time together Sunday afternoon while I was hanging out in the hospital having more contractions than I should at 30 weeks. They eventually had to give me medicine to stop them, but everything is fine now and I have learned my lesson...I hope! God has been faithful in so many ways even (maybe especially) in the moments, days, or weeks when I can't find the energy or the right words to call on him for help. And I know he will continue to be faithful in the future, however unknown.